I didn't even see it coming.

Wednesday afternoon.
Everyone has eaten supper.
Emmett is literally cackling at Ellie Kate.
She sits at the table and he pulls her out of her chair and takes off running hoping to be chased. Thankfully, she thinks this is funny, too.
Church starts at 6:30.
I freshen up my makeup using much concealer. I expect National Geographic to show up wanting to do a special on the alien life form that has invaded my face. Somehow my skin forgot that we've made it thru the teen years (as well as past our twenties). Even Ellie Kate took notice of the "boo-boo" on my face. I don't know how I've avoided wearing a bandaid over it. At our house they heal, well, everything.
Jack (bless his little heart) has fallen asleep in his jumparoo.
I lay him in my bed so he can catch a quick nap. It's about 5:30 at this point.
I've got the diaper bag ready complete with juice cups.
The clock speeds up as it approaches 6:00. Time always disappears when I'm trying to get myself and three kids ready.
I've cleaned up the kitchen.
The diaper bag is on the couch. I try to have everything that I need to take with me waiting by the door. This includes mobile children.
And then it begins.
I'm not even sure what to call it.
I tell Ellie Kate to find her flip-flops. She reports back saying that they are nowhere to be found.
I catch a moving Emmett and wrestle him to the ground.
I wipe off all of the stains on his face. As previously mentioned, everyone has had supper.
He needs a fresh diaper.
With him lying flat I could change his diaper in seconds, but where's the fun in that?
I'm reminded by his resistance that having his diaper changed is a form of abuse.
Somehow he nearly escapes. I grab his legs and pull him back toward me. His rear is dragging on the floor yet he is fully twisted around from the waist up, grabbing at the carpet. My little contortionist. I unwind his middle section and complete the diaper change even slipping some shorts on him. I then marvel at my skills as I wrestle the little guy and successfully put sandals that buckle on his feet.
I realize that the background music is not music at all. It's Jack, awake and crying.
I stick my head into Ellie Kate's room and spot a solitary flip flop by the wall.
She is in the kitchen digging thru her backpack to retreat her princess pen and notepad.
I call for her to return to her room.
I tell her to look for the lost flip flop. She lacks enthusiasm.
I return to the living room and find Emmett seated in the rocking chair. He has (as always) gotten his cup out of the diaper bag and is drinking his "duice". Emmett's juice drinking method is to turn up his cup and empty it of every single drop of liquid. I haven't packed extra juice for him so I take his cup away and place it once again in the diaper bag.
He is appalled. He cuts his eyes at me, grunting in protest saying, "Duice, duice!"
If ever there is an appropriate time to reprimand your mommy, well, Emmett believes it is now. "NoooooooNooo. Duiceduiceduice."
"No, man. You can have your juice when we get to church."
With that, I tell Jack that Mommy is doing her best to get to him. Just another minute, please.
I return to Ellie Kate's room and find her seated on the floor reading a book.
"Ellie Kate did you find your flip flop?"
"Um...no." She returns to her literature.
I point to the closet and ask her to hand me her pink bag. She cuts her eyes at me and pretends that I'm speaking to her invisible friend. I repeat my request. She reaches over and pulls the bag out. I tell her to put the book down for now and help me.
At this point attitude oozes as she slowly lets the book fall out of her hand and to the floor from her now standing position.
"Oh, no ma'am. Come over here."
She receives a quick pop on the rear and a reprimand.
I search her pink bag and am unable to locate the missing flip flop.
I logically say,"You can just wear your pink sandals." Apparently, Ellie Kate heard me say,"We are going to remove all of your toenails" because her posture sags and she begins to dissolve into tears. I make my firm tone a little firmer and let her know that she will wear her sandals.
"Mama, you just hurt my feelings.(...sobs...sobs.) You won't let me help you."
I respond,"Ellie Kate I told you to come in here and find your other flip flop and you came and sat on the floor and read a book."
"But Mama, I love books!"(sob...sob)
I respond,"Baby, I know you do, but when I tell you to do something that's what you need to do. Now lets get these sandals on. We've got to go."
Like salt on a slug she continues to rapidly dissolve.
Meanwhile, in the background I can hear two things: Jack crying and Emmett protesting.
I put the pink sandals on the little girl with crocodile tears rolling down her face. She manages to continue talking thru her tears.
I walk into my room and scoop Jack up. I take him into the den and change his diaper. I wonder when the angry foreign exchange student arrived as Emmett continues to jabber and be annoyed by me.
Ellie Kate is once again retrieving her notebook and pen. She continues to cry.
I begin to shuffle us to the door.
"These shoes frwustrate me, Mama!"
"I know. I know. Come on let's get in the car."
Jack is on my hip. The diaper bag and my purse are slung over my shoulder. Emmett balances two dinosaurs in one hand and reaches up with his free hand to be helped down the stairs. Each step is numbered. There are six in all.
I look back over my shoulder and the little girl with the frustrating sandals is standing at the top of the six stairs.
"Come on, Ellie Kate. You are okay."
She joins us at the van and climbs back to her seat while I put Jack in his car seat.
I walk around to the passenger side and catch Emmett just before he crawls to the back with his sister and out of my reach. I notice that he has a peanut butter hand print on his back that happens to be the same size as Ellie Kate's hand. I don't even consider changing his shirt. After all peanut butter smells good.
I hook him in his car seat. He is saying "sinosaur" over and over. I half way climb into the van and see a dinosaur on the floor. I retrieve the dinosaur and hand it to him.
I walk around and climb into the driver's side. As Ellie Kate cries, Emmett repeats "sinosaur" over and over.
I look back and see the very dinosaur that I had just handed to him on the floor. I once again retrieve the thing and put it in his little hand. As I'm turning around, out of the corner of my eye I see Emmett "accidentally" drop the dinosaur again.
I'm not playing this game.
As we are pulling out of the driveway, Ellie Kate says while crying,"My eye hurts. It hurts because I can't stop thinking about it."
I remind her that she can go into the Bible study with me tonight and ask her Daddy to pray for it.
We drive less than two miles to church.
As we turn into the church parking lot Emmett begins angry crying and arching his back in protest. This is not always his response to church, but apparently he's decided that he doesn't want to go tonight.
I pull into a space marked "SENIORS" because it's near the door.
Thankfully a sweet lady pulls in behind me and asks if I could use some help. I quickly explain that we are in simultaneous meltdown mode and my turn is coming up. She graciously takes Jack from me as I begin to unbuckle my less than happy toddler.
He begins to flail, kicking his sister.
The five-year-old with the frustrating sandals and hurting eye, does not take kindly to this.
We enter the foyer.
The Kilpatricks have arrived.
I make light of the fact that my two oldest are nearly distraught.
We walk thru the sanctuary to get to the nursery.
I smile around clinched teeth.
The nursery worker (Ms. C) takes Jack from the kind lady that came to my rescue. I make a quick note to include said kind lady in my will and I thank her for her help.
I put Emmett down and he morphs into a leach and attaches to my leg.
Ellie Kate sits down with the twin little boys in the nursery and starts asking them how to spell their names. She wants to write this in her notebook.
I sit in a rocking chair and look for something, anything to draw Emmett's attention away from me. Jack decides to follow suit with the crying.
Ms. C tells me that the last time Emmett was like this, he calmed down shortly after I left. I ask her if she wants me to just stay in the nursery or try to leave. We decide that Ellie Kate and I will exit and wait outside of the door for a few seconds to see if Emmett calms down.
We bolt out of the door.
As we stand with our backs against the wall, Ellie Kate whispers,"Don't say a word."
Sure enough, in less than three minutes Emmett quits crying.
Ellie Kate and I enter the sanctuary and find a seat near the back. She raises her hand to request prayer for her eye and then chickens out when Ross calls on her. She asks me to make the request for her and I do. Ross also tells everyone that it's her birthday. We sing to her and then continue with our prayer meeting/Bible study.
I shoosh Ellie Kate and then remind her 5+ times that she has been shooshed.
I'm somewhat surprised as I sit in the sanctuary that I'm not completely frayed. I realize that in recent prayers I asked for patience. It becomes obvious to me that the Lord is allowing opportunities for me to grow in this area.
I thank Him for my babies.
The return home goes much more smoothly.
My children's plot to take over Mommy has been averted...for today, but I have to say that I didn't even see this one coming.
Sneeky little people... that I love dearly.