Ok, here's the situation. EK used to go to bed beautifully. After Ross and I would sit on her bed and sing with her, we'd have a little prayer time, kiss her goodnight, and then we would exit the room. She even asked me to leave a few times so she could go to bed. It was great. Then there was a gradual change. I would start to put her to bed and when it was time for me to leave, she would come up with all of these requests which included things like, "sing me some more songs, get me something to drink" and so on. Then she would literally freak out when we left her room.
One night she came out of her room five times in a row. She would be disciplined each time, but it didn't seem to matter. We would put her back in her room and she would scream and throw herself around in an all out fit. The fits were horrible! On one occassion, Ross came out of her room and told me that our child was possessed. I agreed. We would finally just hold the door so that she couldn't come out of her room and after a very loooong time she would give out and go to bed.
The above mentioned would take place in spurts. One night would be the sweet, little princess child giving us goodnight kisses. The next night would be the head spinning, pea soup spewing munchkin. Keep in mind that Little Man would already be asleep just down the hall. EK's fits would wake Emmett up on occassion not making mommy very happy:(
Now we're at the point where it's every night. When I'm about to leave, she will have the most panicked look on her face. Her eyes will be as big as saucers and I can see that she is 'bout to lose it. So lately Ross and I have taken turns laying down with her as she says, 'for a wittle while'. Now we're at the point that we lay down with her until she falls asleep.
Last night was the topper. I layed down with her. She said,"Mama cwose you eyes." She dozed off and I left her room. A couple of hours later, when I was getting a nice, relaxing bath, guess who comes in crying with crazy hair and a bink, bink (blanket). No, it wasn't Ross. It was Prissy Mae. So she layed on my bed and waited for me to finish up. I then walked her back to her room and layed down with her again. She dozed off, I left the room. During the night, she woke up screaming/crying two more times. Both times found me back in her room laying down with her.
Ross and I have researched 'tantrums' online. We read about toddlers and learning to help them control their emotions. EK will say, "Mommy, pway I not scream. Pway I not cry. Pway I not get out of my bed." I tell her that I will pray with her, but that it is her choice to do or not do these things. I tell her that she has to choose to obey mommy and daddy. The thing with EK is that this only happens at bedtime. It almost seems like more of a seperation issue.
Have any of you dealt with this? We have prayed and continue to pray about it. I just thought maybe some advice from some other mommies could be helpful:)
And yes I am typing this with a good 'ole cup of coffee in my hand:))
6 comments:
guess what??...been there done that...still go through it every once in a while and Hannah will be 6 next month. she started it when she was about 3 years old and it has gradually gotten better; however, she jumps at any and every opportunity to spend the night with Nana & Poppy or sleep w/me if daddy has to work, etc...I wish that I could give you a miracle fix, but we never found one either. We do lay down with her every night, usually until she falls asleep. We talked to our pediatrician about it and he said that it was normal for some children to go through this, and to keep on doing what we were doing. It is extremely hard, in the middle of the night to send her back to her bed (where she is afraid) or take her back to her bed and repeat, repeat, repeat. Trust me, I know. Our doctor has always told us that if you give in and react the way that they want you to in the middle of the night (a.k.a. go get in the bed or let them crawl in with you), then you are not doing them any good (or yourself for that matter), because they will never learn to "self-sooth" and go to sleep on their own. My advice...of course, do what works for you guys. We went through the punishing in the middle of the night and all that goes with that. That's exhausting (is that spelled right?)!! We don't get up with her anymore during the night unless she is hurt or sick, of course. We send her back to her room (over and over sometimes) and try to talk to her as little as possible but at the same time reassuring her that nothing is going to hurt her, come in the house, etc...Sorry that I can't "fix" it, but atleast you know that you are not alone. Hope you and your little princess sleep tight tonight!!
Well, we have those moments as well. One thing that helps us 1.we got a night light plus leave the bathroom light on. Mer DOES NOT want her door closed so we don't. We also give CP books to look at and sometimes Mer wants them too. It gives them something to focus on and they are not sitting there "thinking I'm alone, I think I don't like the dark"...you get the picture. Some nights if we can we will do our Bible study with them in the bed and they just lay there (thta's more of a "treat" really). And sometimes we just cry. Hope this might help. Peaceful sleeping...oh, you know the differnce, but I have found that sometimes when it goes on for awhile it is a sign of an ear infection. CP and Mer hardly ever run a fever with it and night time behavior is a big clue for me.
Oh my goodness Amy- I'm so sorry- I know you are exhausted- and waking up baby E- that is when you know the evil one is involved. :) I have not had to deal with this, although I think I did it to MY mom. I remember she would leave and say she would come back and check on me in 2 minutes (and she would peek her head in), then 4 minutes, then 10 minutes, etc. and eventually I would sleep- but she wasn't right beside me. I just don't know. What if Bunny slept with her? (That's when my parents got a dog too- so I wouldn't be alone). I'll pray for wisdom! LOVE YOU! (P.S. I had no idea Candace blogged) :)
O. M. G.
Ok, so for now, you have helped me be content with my current situation.
haha.
Love you! and just think, one day you'll laugh at all this...hmmmm.
Amy,
I laugh because we have and are going through the same thing. Cole was so good about going to bed by himself after books, prayers and Jesus Loves me. Then it got to where we had to lay with him until he fell asleep in return I fell asleep and would get nothing done at home. Cole wakes up at least 3 times a week in the middle of the night. Lately, he has been wanting milk. Dax and I both don't want to give in to that because it will become habit. We typically put him in the bed with us because it is usually around 4:30 or 5:00 and that would mean only an hour of sleeping with us. It is hard. I have in the past two weeks started trying to break the habit of us laying with him. It works sometimes if I tell him to sing to his animals. I have found that the longer I stay in the room the harder it is for him. If I leave immediately after prayers he does best. Good Luck and know that there are others out there going through the exact same thing.
Oh, how we've gone through the same thing! I think every kid goes through that at some point. Isabel was always perfect about bedtime until she hit close to the same age. Now, we let her leave her lights on (thankfully in our house we have dimmers). They're always on a little bit when she goes to bed, and we go in a little while later when we know she's asleep and turn them off. That has helped a little bit. She still has her nights when we put her to bed and she comes in and out several times. One night we put her to bed and almost an hour later, she comes out wide awake. I went into her room and all her toys were rearranged. I know it's hard to deal with, but I think consistency and firmness are the only things that really get them to understand! I started saying, "if there's anything you need, I'll get whatever you need right now. But if you come out of your room or scream, it's too late for toys or songs or drinks." That sometimes works! But it sounds like you're doing all the right things... hang in there!
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